


if this world runs out of lovers (we'll still have each other)

by movingforthesakeofmotion



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, NSFW, Smut, but here, everything sucks the election was fucked and donald trump can go fuck himself, fluff!, here have some gay fluff to piss him off, it might get more explicit later on i dunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8497111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/movingforthesakeofmotion/pseuds/movingforthesakeofmotion
Summary: Soulmates are so unpredictable.Erin Gilbert wouldn't have it any other way.Otherwise known as the Soulmate AU where person A draws beautiful things on person B's body.





	1. Chapter 1

“Erin?”

It’s the sound of Abby’s voice that pulls Erin out of her current stupor and she turns to look at her best friend with wide eyes, inhaling through her nose as she smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Me and Patty are about to head out and get something to eat, you want anything?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks, Abby.” 

Abby simply chuckles and shakes her head, observing as her best friend’s eyes lower back down onto her arm and simply stare.

“Is he drawing again?” She says. Erin sighs and nods.

"Yeah, they really like drawing all these patterns all over their body." Erin says, frowning. Abby raises an eyebrow.

“They?” Erin feels her cheeks burn and she shrugs again.

“Awfully presumptuous to think it’s a male.” She simply mutters, and Abby laughs before nodding.

“That’s true.”

“Abby, you coming or what?” They both jump at the sound of Patty’s voice shouting up the stairs and Abby grins at Erin.

“You sure you don’t want anything?” Erin smiles softly and shakes her head as Abby makes her way down the stairs to hear both of her friends laughing boisterously, sharing some kind of inside joke that Erin isn’t aware of.

She sighs and lays back down on the couch, watching the spiral of ink that moves around her forearm and toward her elbow with a frown.

You would think being a Ghostbuster would be the least of Erin Gilbert’s problems, but lo and behold, she has a soulmate somewhere out there who she is 95% sure is a complete and utter klutz, because ever since this whole thing began she's been feeling pain all over her body, bruises appearing out of nowhere for no apparent reason.

It's some kind of mutation that occurs, Erin still isn't sure about the science of it all and frankly, she's sick of trying to figure it out, but it's been in her family for generations and the only information her mother had given her was 'your soulmate is connected to you at all times. Everything they feel, you feel, everything that happens to them, happens to you'. 

Erin wishes she could go to her mother's house and kick her in the face, because what kind of fucking explanation is that, but since she's not on speaking terms with her mother, she's decided she might as well just go with the flow on this one. After all, it's not something she can control.

One day everything was normal, and the next, everything wasn’t.

One day she was solving an equation, and suddenly, markings began to appear on her arms, ink moving over her skin, and Erin had thought at first that perhaps it was a ghost, but there was no floating marker, nothing to indicate as such and it had hit her.

This was her soulmate. This was her soulmate marking their skin with these beautiful designs and she, Erin, had been frozen in shock for almost fifteen minutes, watching the designs slowly mark her skin before Abby had come rushing up the stairs, wondering why her best friend had suddenly gone radio silent. 

It’s been two weeks since the markings first began, as well as the continuous injuries and Erin wants nothing more than to write something back, ask to meet up with this person, but she knows it's impossible, that this person doesn't have the same fucked up gene she does and probably has no idea what they're currently doing to her.

Erin runs her fingers over the markings that were made a few days ago that are slowly beginning to fade. Her soulmate doesn’t fuck around, Erin knows that for sure. Whatever marker they use is definitely of the permanent kind. Erin had woken up in the middle of the night a few days ago, yelping in pain to see her forearm was bright red, scratch marks on her skin from what she assumed was her soulmate scratching at their own skin in an attempt to get the ink off. 

That small motion is what caused the current dilemma inside of her. Erin had been observing for the last two weeks how her soulmate had simply waited for the ink to fade. What had suddenly made them begin lashing out at their own skin in an attempt to get the ink off?

"Hey, Erin!" Her eyes snap up at the sound of footsteps once more and Kevin's head pops up at the top of the stairwell.

"I'm heading off, but Abby told me to remind you that some Engineer lady is coming to meet you guys tonight."

"Yeah, I remember. Thanks, Kev." He grins and walks back down the stairs, and Erin finds herself staring at his bare arms, free of any markings with regret.

If only Kevin was her soulmate, it'd make everything so much easier.

***************************

Erin fidgets with her hair once more and sighs as Abby chuckles.

"Why are you so fidgety?"

"You're asking a complete stranger to become a member of our team, excuse me for being a bit nervous." 

"She's not a stranger, Erin, I know her. Besides, you’ve met the President, this should be nothing.”

“President Clinton is not an Engineer who is becoming part of our team permanently.” Erin breathes out, and Abby chuckles again.

"No, she's not, but how awesome would that be?" Erin rolls her eyes. 

"What's her name again?"

"Ji-"

Suddenly, there’s loud knocking at the firehouse door, and they both jump.

“Someone’s at the door!” Kevin yells.

“Can you get it, Kev?” Abby yells back, rolling her eyes.

“Got it, boss!” Abby looks at Erin, who sighs.

"So beautiful, and yet..." Abby nods, agreeing with her as Kevin suddenly appears around the corner with a grin.

“There’s a Jillian Holtzmann at the door. She looks cool.” 

“Yeah, let her in, Kev!” Abby says. 

“Come on in!” Kevin shouts. Abby sighs as he walks away and Erin groans from the anticipation as she hears footsteps.

She appears around the corner, and Erin stops breathing.

Feet covered in thick black boots, denim overalls splashed with paint stains cover her body, and Erin’s eyes move up to her arms, which are clutching a bag strapped to her back and are covered in a dark red crop top as she raises a leather-gloved hand to her forehead and gives Erin a small salute, a gigantic grin on her face. 

Her blonde hair is haphazardly thrown in a bun, small sections of it curling over the top of a bandana that holds it back. Yellow tinted glasses cover sky blue eyes and Erin’s eyes move down to the grin on her face, dimples cutting into her cheeks as she moves forward.

She’s fucking breathtaking and Erin can’t help but let out a breath as Jillian comes to a stop in front of her and Abby, who stands.

“Holtzy!” She holds her arms out and Jillian gives her a tight hug before she winks at Abby and looks down at Erin, who stands and pulls down her skirt awkwardly.

“You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.” She says, and Erin shudders at the sound of her voice, soft but somehow still seductive and she tries to relax her shoulders as she smiles.

“Comes with the job.” Jillian grins and holds her hand out. As soon as Erin’s fingers wrap around Jillian’s hand, a spark of electricity surges through her and both their eyes widen.

“Uh..." Before Erin can say anything, Jillian grins.

"Holtzmann. Virgo. Avid skier. Gluten full. And 100% jazzed to meet you." 

"Erin. Gilbert." She adds, and Holtzmann winks at her.

"I've heard terrible things about you."

"What?" Erin says, her eyes widening and Abby clears her throat.

"Well, I haven't spoken to her in awhile, so she doesn't know that we're okay now, so I may have said some not nice things about you to her about the whole, you know, leaving me and the book and our dreams behind and what not..." Abby mutters, and Erin glares at her. 

"Thanks." She hisses. Holtzmann chuckles and suddenly shoves the sleeves of her crop top up to her elbows.

"You wanted to talk about me joining the team?" She asks. 

"Yes, we did. Right, Erin?"

Erin's frozen.

She can't move, can't speak, can't think.

Because on full display on Holtzmann's forearm, is the exact same markings currently on Erin's forearm, from the flower near her elbow, to the skull on her forearm, to the vine leaves wrapping around her wrist. Everything is identical.

Holtzmann catches Erin's eyes and looks down at her own ink covered arms with a chuckle.

"They're not tattoos, I just get bored sometimes." Erin swallows the lump in her throat, her heart pounding in her ears as Abby looks at her in confusion.

"Erin, is everything okay?" Erin looks at Abby, then back at Holtzmann's arm, then back at Abby, who frowns, looks at Holtzmann's forearm, then suddenly gasps.

"Oh my god, oh fuck!" She exclaims, and Holtzmann's eyes widen.

"Uh..." Before she can say anything else, Erin rushes off and into the bathroom, locking it behind her and sinking against the door, the realisation that she's just walked away from her soulmate crashing and hitting her like a tidal wave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i'm fucking disgusted and so pissed off and this is the only thing getting me through right now, so please give me as much positivity as you can. I love you guys and I'm so sorry our country is so fucked, I can't fucking believe this. I love you all, stay safe, you all mean the world to me. I hope reading this cheers you up as much as it cheered me up writing it. I'll do everything in my power to keep them coming to keep you guys happy, because we fucking need it.  
> I'm just done.

_This is not happening. This is not happening, it can’t be happening, this is impossible._

She ignores the sound of knocking on the door for the 5th time and presses her forehead against her knee, groaning at the pressure as her nails dig into her calf muscle.

This is ridiculous. That girl, out there, with the crazy hair and the crazy outfit...her soulmate?

It can’t be. She’s the complete opposite of Erin.

No, something’s wrong. Glitch in the system, or the mutation. Impossible.

“Erin, open the goddamn door, please?” Abby’s voice is urgent and Erin shakes her head before the sound of another voice echoes from outside the door.

“Should I come back, Abby?” Her voice sends a shiver up Erin’s spine, something she’s never felt before, but Erin refuses to acknowledge and instead decides to push herself up and grab the doorknob.

“No, stay, Holtzmann, please-.” She rips the door open, her eyes adjusting before they land on Abby’s wrist, which she closes her fingers around and yanks Abby through the door. She lets out a huff of surprise as Erin drags her in and throws the door shut in Holtzmann’s face.

“Erin!” Abby’s eyes are wide and Erin looks at her, shaking her head.

“She’s not-she can’t be-.” She has no idea what to say, what she’s thinking, her mind is racing, her heart is pounding, because this just can’t BE-

“Erin, it’s okay! Just breathe, please!” Abby’s arms grip Erin’s shoulders tightly and Erin swallows the lump in her throat and shakes her head again.

“I can’t-she’s....Abby!” She wrings her hands and Abby grips her wrists and nods.

“She is, Erin. She very clearly is, she’s got the same markings on her arms, and they’re identical down to a T. There’s...I’m sorry, I wish I could say there’s some kind of loophole-.”

“We don’t even understand the proper science or-or reasoning behind this crap!” Erin hisses, throwing her arms up in exasperation before pointing at the markings on her arms, and Abby sighs.

“Your Mom seemed pretty adamant that this was a real thing. I remember when we were kids, Erin, I remember her that day your Dad had that accident at work, you and I both watched her go through the same pain he did. You said you’ve been getting bruises all over your body? That’s not normal, Erin. The markings, I mean...it’s all pointing toward it being true.” 

Erin can feel tears in her eyes now.

She can’t accept it.

“I don’t even know her.” She whispers.

“Well, I do, and she’s amazing, and besides! If she joins the team, it’s the perfect chance to get to know her.” Abby says, smiling softly. Erin bites her lip.

No. No, this isn’t right.

“No, Abby, I can’t. I can’t let some stupid thing like this dictate who I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with and I...I am not gonna let this ruin a chance for us to have a brilliant Engineer on our team so...” Erin lets out a deep breath and Abby looks at her with a look that says she wants to argue, but instead she nods.

“Okay, then let’s just get out there and make her feel welcome, because I’m pretty sure you slamming the door in her face was the opposite of that.” Erin bites her lip.

“Crap.” She lets out another deep breath before craning her neck, a shudder going down her spine at the sound of it cracking.

_She’s not my soulmate. She’s just a girl who’s come in to be part of the team._

She throws open the door to see Holtzmann still standing there, one of her feet planted against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest as she looks up at the sound of the door opening. She frowns when she sees Erin, then raises an eyebrow as she walks out.

“Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, thank you, Jillian.” Erin says stiffly. She smiles, her dimples cutting into her cheeks and Erin bites back a groan.

“Holtzmann. And good.” She pushes herself off the wall and Erin clears her throat, fidgeting with the bottom of her blouse as Abby sighs.

“Sorry, just a small hiccup. Look, we’ll get right down to the nitty gritty, we need an Engineer, Holtz. I mean, I’ve been doing my best with the gear we managed to scrap together, but it’s dismal and four ghosts have gotten away in the last two months. We need help. A lot of help, and you’re the only person I can think of who would be crazy enough to join us, and you’re the only person who I trust so...we’re officially extending an invitation to you to join the Ghostbusters with the sincerest wish that you will accept.” Abby watches Holtzmann hopefully. Erin doesn’t look at her, but at the sound of her chuckling, her eyes move from Abby to Holtzmann, who is looking back and forth between them as she shakes her head.

“You don’t need to give me a pitch, Abby. When do I move in?” She says, grinning.

********************************************************

The next day, Holtzmann takes less than half a day to move all her stuff to the second floor, which she’s pretty much claimed as her own, much to the chagrin of Erin.

“That’s my office, Abby.”

“You two can share it.”

“Seriously? With the...thing?” She says pointedly, and Abby grins at her.

“You can get to know her now!” Erin simply glares as Holtzmann comes up the stairs carrying a box of tools, which she heaves onto a table with a grunt.

“That’s the last of it. Now, these proton packs you’ve built...Abby, my small cupcake, my precious salmon skin roll, I love you, but these are abysmal.” Holtzmann grabs the proton packs resting on the table and turns them over with a frown, and Abby sighs and nods.

“I know, I don’t specialize in ghost weaponry, Holtzmann. That’s your job.” 

“Don’t worry, I got it, I got it. Just gotta make a few adjustments. There’s supposed to be three of you, right?” She says, looking up at Erin and Abby.

“Patty’s on her way, she’d like to meet you.” Erin says. Holtzmann nods.

“I’d like to meet her, too, I've gotta fit her for a proton pack. Gotta fit all of you for one."

"Wait, we're all getting a proton pack?" Erin asks in shock. Holtzmann chuckles.

"I'm surprised you've all only been using one, no wonder the ghosts got away. Now, I gotta ask, the blonde downstairs..." She trails off.

“Kevin’s just the receptionist.” Erin says quickly. Holtzmann grins and looks up from the proton pack again.

“He’s great entertainment.” Erin’s heart drops and she clears her throat.

“Uh, what...what do you mean?” She asks as casually as possible. Holtzmann shakes her head in disbelief.

“He’s not the smartest proton stream in the pack. As soon as he opened the door, he said ‘thanks for coming to fix our bathroom’. Bless his soul.” She laughs again and Abby sighs.

“Yeah, we should probably look into hiring a new receptionist. But he’s just...he’s like family now, I can’t do it.” 

“I like him. Keep him!” Holtzmann says, grinning. 

“He is nice to look at, right?” Erin says, chuckling nervously. Holtzmann raises an eyebrow.

“Uh yeah, sure. I guess.”

“You guess?” Holtzmann shrugs.

“Don’t swing that way.”

“What way?” She chuckles.

“The ‘attracted to men’ way.” 

Erin’s heart stops beating.

“Erin...” Abby gives her a look, Erin ignores her, her fingers subconsciously touching the markings on her forearm under her sleeve.

“You draw on yourself a lot?” Erin asks, pointing at Holtzmann’s forearm. She looks down at her drawings and chuckles again.

“Uh, yeah. Sometimes my mind feels scattered, lots of thoughts cross this old noggin, so I draw to calm myself down, try and keep myself occupied so I don’t get too lost in thought, you know?” Erin nods, biting on her lip as she moves forward, and Holtzmann simply continues with her work, pulling the proton pack in front of her apart.

“You use yourself as a canvas?” Erin asks, raising an eyebrow. Holtzmann grins and looks up at her.

“What better canvas than the human body, right?” Erin can’t help but grin back, and she turns to look at Abby to find she’s disappeared.

“Abby?” Both her and Holtzmann pause and look around and Holtzmann shrugs.

“Must’ve gone downstairs.” Erin bites her lip, knowing full well that Abby left to give them space, and she exhales through her nose.

She’s intrigued and she knows it.

_Fuck._

“So, how long have you known Abby for?” Erin asks. 

“Awhile. I met her at Comic Con.” 

Erin blinks in shock.

“I’m sorry, what?” Holtzmann grins.

“I’m kidding. We met at M.I.T. I worked with her for a while before I got a call from my mentor about a project and I left to help her out. When I got back, ghosts took over New York and you guys saved the day.” She says, winking. Erin’s breath catches in her throat at the sight, but she smiles.

“So you’re close?” Holtzmann shrugs again.

“Yeah, we worked together for about three years. We were investigating all this stuff for years before I left. Kinda regret it now, missed out on one hell of a battle.” 

“You certainly did.” Holtzmann’s smile fades and she suddenly leans forward, licking her lips as she stares at Erin intently.

“Hey, I heard what you did, too. Running into that portal to save Abby. Firstly, thanks. I can’t imagine what life without Abby would be like.”

“Neither can I. That’s why I did it.” Erin says softly. Holtzmann smiles.

“That was brave.” 

“Thanks.” She nods, turning back to the proton packs just as Erin hears footsteps pounding up the stairs and they both turn to see Patty and Abby making their way up.

“Uh, Holtz, this is Patty Tolan. Patty, this is Jillian Holtzmann.”

“Call me Holtz, and it’s nice to meet you, Pattycakes.” Holtzmann grins, holding her hand out for Patty to shake and she grips it before looking at Holtzmann with wide eyes.

“Don’t call me that.”

“You’re mouthy. I like it.” Holtzmann drawls, her grin growing wider, and Patty rolls her eyes.

“Great, we were bound to get a mad scientist on the team at some point, weren’t we?” She sighs.

*****************************************************************

Life with Holtzmann around doesn't take long to adjust to.

Holtzmann usually keeps to herself, staying upstairs on the second floor with music blasting from the stereo she set up in her lab as she tinkers away, banging sounds and blowtorches firing echoing down the steps. Erin’s office is officially now in a small corner of the second floor, as Holtzmann pretty much has taken over the entire floor with her equipment.

Erin could find reason to complain. She could.

But she doesn’t want to. For many reasons. One being that Holtzmann’s work on their proton packs has improved their gear immensely. They’ve been on four busts in the two weeks since Holtzmann joined them, and not a single ghost has escaped them. The proton packs are firing at a rate Erin has never seen before, and Holtzmann’s managed to build a stronger and sturdier trap that is about ten times smaller than the one Abby had them lugging around. It rests at the bottom of her own proton pack, and she slides it out easily during each bust and manages to get the ghost inside it with ease. She's fixed the containment unit as well, stopped it from leaking ectoplasm, which Erin thanks all the gods she knows for.

Not only that, but Holtzmann is constantly working on a plethora of side-arms for each of them, everything from proton grenades, to proton shotguns, to a ghost grinder, it’s insane how stocked on ghost weaponry they are in just a matter of weeks.

So yes, bringing Holtzmann onto the team and having her there to give them everything they could ever possibly need or dream of to fight ghosts is a definite plus.

Add in the fact that Erin is having no trouble at all getting along with her, and everything is pretty much going fantastically for the physicist.

Except for the fact that Holtzmann is apparently her soulmate and she hasn’t said anything about it to her yet.

For the last two weeks, Erin has observed everything she can about Holtzmann. She’s observed the way she dances around the lab, singing at the top of her voice, using a screwdriver as a microphone as she fiddles with her technology. She’s observed the way she always seems to listen to old music from the 70’s and 80’s, and when Erin had asked her why, she had shrugged and said it kept her upbeat and focused. Erin didn’t question it again, simply deciding to enjoy the view of Holtzmann running around and lip syncing with a gigantic, dorky grin on her face.

She’s also observed that Holtzmann seems to survive on energy drinks and Pringles. She’s also observed that Holtzmann enjoys flirting with literally everyone, including herself, which Erin can never help but get flustered at, especially when Holtzmann winks at her. Abby, who is apparently used to Holtzmann flirting with her, brushes it off with a roll of her eyes, while Patty simply glares at Holtzmann and tells her to stop, but Erin can see the grin behind her eyes.

Holtzmann fits in perfectly with the team. And Erin is starting to see how Holtzmann fits into her life. Perhaps not yet as a soulmate, but at least as a friend.

But Erin goes home every night to her apartment, lays down in bed, and sure enough, begins to feel the usual creep of ink on her skin, and watches as the ink crawls all over her arms now, designs of every kind as she runs her fingers over the ink and ponders what Holtzmann could be thinking of right now that’s got her drawing again. But she gets to work the next day and doesn't ask Holtzmann how her night was, doesn't question, doesn't probe.

She's too scared to.

But every night, without fail, Holtzmann is drawing. She’s moved from just her forearms to her upper arms and even her stomach now, and Erin can’t help but stare in fascination and wonder at the patterns coursing their way around her body, and can’t help the desire to find Holtzmann and ask her what’s on her mind every time it begins.

She’s taken to wearing long sleeves to keep her arms covered, not wanting Holtzmann to see that the same markings on her body are on Erin’s as well, but Abby continues to egg her on, to show Holtzmann the markings so that she can prove to her that they’re soulmates. But Erin can’t even begin to understand how she’s supposed to explain this whole thing to Holtzmann.

And she can’t put that pressure on her. She can’t just walk up to her and say ‘hey you’re supposed to be my soulmate so spend the rest of your life with me or else’. It’s disgusting. Holtzmann has a right to choose.

So Erin stays quiet. Erin simply observes.

And Erin finds she’s completely content with doing so for now.

Almost a month after Holtzmann’s joined the team, Erin walks into the firehouse with breakfast, muffins and pancakes in her arms as she heads straight to the kitchen.

“Guys! Breakfast!” She hears feet pounding down the stairs, as usual. Holtzmann is up there around the clock, only coming down to grab snacks, and Erin’s tried telling her multiple times to take breaks but it just goes over her head. She sees Holtzmann’s grin appear at the bottom as she jumps the last few steps and skips over.

“Thank god! I’m starving!” She whines. She reaches for the Styrofoam pack with her pancakes and Erin suddenly finds herself slapping Holtzmann’s hand away.

“Ow!” Holtzmann whines.

“Wait for everyone else.” Erin scolds, and she can’t help but be a little surprised at herself, but Holtzmann grins and winks at her.

“Bossy. I like it.” She teases. Erin rolls her eyes, ignoring the heat that rushes to her cheeks at Holtzmann’s words as Abby and Patty come in from the living room. They all eat together, with Holtzmann talking about her latest invention of side-arms for herself which Erin is actually pretty excited about seeing in action, until Erin notices how fast she’s scoffing down her food.

“Holtz, slow down!”

“Can’t, gotta work!” Holtzmann says through a mouthful. 

“You’re gonna choke, the work can wait!” Erin exclaims.

“Can’t!” Holtzmann shoves the last of it down her mouth and bolts out of the chair, heading for the stairs.

“Holtzmann!” Erin yells after her, but she’s gone. Erin sighs in frustration and turns to Abby to find her staring at Erin with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” Erin huffs. 

“You two are definitely soulmates.” Erin slaps her arm with a scoff, but finishes her food and dashes up the stairs to find Holtzmann bent over what looks like a mini proton gun. Erin lets out a huffy sigh and crosses her arms over her chest.

“You can’t keep working around the clock, Holtzmann, you’ve gotta take breaks in between. You’re up here 24/7.” Holtzmann looks up at her and pouts.

“If I take a break I’ll lose my mojo.”

“You’re a genius with an IQ of 162, I don’t think your mojo is going anywhere.” Erin says, calling on a previous conversation she’d had with Holtzmann about her work. Holtzmann suddenly grins, her eyes soft as she looks at Erin.

“You remembered that?” Erin looks at her in confusion.

“Of course I did, you told me.” Holtzmann’s grin fades and she shrugs.

“Most of the time when I talk, people don’t listen. They get confused or just lose interest.” She mutters. Erin’s heart drops at the sight of Holtzmann fiddling with the mini-proton gun like a kicked puppy before she clears her throat and grins up at Erin again.

“Breaks are for dudes.” She says, and Erin throws her arms up in exasperation.

“Fine, I give up.” She makes her way toward her desk when Holtzmann suddenly jumps in front of her with a grin.

“Come on, E, don’t be mad at meeeee.” She whines.

“I just care about you, Holtz. You need to take a break.”

“I caaaaan’t.” Erin glares at her in frustration and goes to push past her when Holtzmann suddenly juts out her lower lip.

“Don’t be mad, please.” She whines again. Erin ignores her when suddenly, Holtzmann grabs the remote from the table and presses play, and music blasts from the stereo, Holtzmann moving her hips to the rhythm as she raises her hands above her head, eyes closed and lips pursed as she feels the music and Erin rolls her eyes.

“What are you doing?” She asks. Erin realizes what the song is and rolls her eyes again as Holtzmann begins to pretend playing the piano before she grabs the screwdriver on the table and looks at Erin with blue eyes blazing with excitement as she lip syncs into it.

_Lookin' in your eyes_  
_I see a paradise_  
_This world that I found_  
_Is too good to be true_  


She swoons dramatically and presses herself against the table, collapsing against it dramatically as Erin crosses her arms over her chest, trying her best not to grin. She’s so not playing this game. She’s supposed to be mad.

_Standin' here beside you_  
_Want so much to give you_  
_This love in my heart_  
_That I'm feelin' for you_  


Holtzmann jumps forward and lifts the screwdriver to Erin’s mouth as Grace Slick’s part comes on, eyebrows raised in anticipation and excitement and Erin simply glares at her with tight lips trying so desperately not to grin.

_Let 'em say we're crazy_  
_I don't care about that_  


She doesn’t lip sync along to it, instead grabbing the chair behind her and sitting in it as Holtzmann pouts at her and instead begins lip syncing Grace’s part herself, gesturing the movements as she does.

_Put your hand in my hand_  
_Baby, don't ever look back_  
_Let the world around us_  
_Just fall apart_  
_Baby, we can make it_  
_If we're heart to heart_  


Erin crosses her legs and arms now, lips pursed as Holtzmann jumps up on the table now, lip syncing as if she’s on an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, as if her life depends on it as the chorus kicks in.

_And we can build this dream together_  
_Standing strong forever_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us now_  
_And if this world runs out of lovers_  
_We'll still have each other_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us now_  
_Oh, whoa_  


“Okay, Holtzmann, I get it-.” Erin’s cut off as Holtzmann jumps down from the table and begins walking toward Erin now.

_I'm so glad I found you_  
_I'm not gonna lose you_  
_Whatever it takes_  
_I will stay here with you_  


She drops down to her knees in front of Erin with a grin, lip syncing passionately as she grabs Erin’s hand.

_Take it to the good times_  
_See it through the bad times_  
_Whatever it takes_  
_Is what I'm gonna do_  


Erin watches the puppy dog look in Holtzmann’s eyes and really, she fucking hates herself, this song, and Holtzmann, but she can’t help it. 

She starts lip syncing in time with Grace.

_Let 'em say we're crazy_  
_What do they know?_  
_Put your arms around me_  
_Baby, don't ever let go_  


Holtzmann claps her hands in excitement and stands, and Erin finds herself lip syncing just as passionately as Holtzmann.

_Let the world around us_  
_Just fall apart_  
_Baby, we can make it_  
_If we're heart to heart_  


Holtzmann holds her hand out for Erin to take, and she does, her heart pounding in her ears as she begins dancing with Holtzmann, both of the lip syncing the song wildly.

_And we can build this dream together_  
_Standing strong forever_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us now_  
_And if this world runs out of lovers_  
_We'll still have each other_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us_  
_Nothing's gonna stop us_  


Holtzmann suddenly pirouettes and points at Erin, her yellow glasses falling from her forehead to cover her eyes perfectly in time with the song.

_Ooh, all that I need is you_

Erin points back at Holtzmann, her other hand flying to her chest as she winks at Holtzmann. 

_All that I ever need_

Holtzmann suddenly rushes forward.

_And all that I want to do_

Erin rushes forward and their inches apart, still dancing as they move closer.

_Is hold you forever, ever and ever_

Holtzmann air guitars as Erin’s leg kicks the air, and suddenly, the music stops. Both of them stand in shock, breathless as they turn to see Abby at the stereo, looking at them both with a raised eyebrow.

“Patty told me, and I quote, to ‘quiet your vanilla asses down’. She’s reading a book on the history of New York and doesn’t want to be disturbed.” 

Erin straightens herself out as Holtzmann gives Abby a two finger salute.

“Sorry! Erin was drilling me about taking a break, but I get bored on breaks, so I figured I’d have her join me.” She grins. Abby simply shakes her head as Holtzmann winks at Erin and turns back to her work. Erin looks up at Abby, and she simply mouths it, but Erin’s always been pretty good at reading lips.

“Soulmates. Definitely soulmates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, that last part was totally stolen from The Skeleton Twins, it's a good movie, and Kristen is amazing in it, so is Bill, and damn I wish I could wind the clocks back to 2012 when Barack Obama was President and Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Bill Hader were on SNL. Everything fucking sucks. 
> 
> Like I said, I love you guys. Stay strong, and I hope this cheered you up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I need to put trigger warnings for this but just in case, cause I care about you guys, there's gonna be talk about autism and shitty parents and therapy in this so yeah!

Erin traces her fingers over the ink on her arm and sighs, her bottom lip catching between her teeth.

It’s officially been two months since she met Holtzmann, and things have continued as normal. Erin is still stuck in this passive aggressive state of wanting to tell Holtzmann the truth and simply wanting them to continue how they are. 

Their friendship is something Erin has never experienced before. With Abby, it was different. Abby was the friend you leaned on for emotional support, the friend who had your back no matter what, who was there for you through thick and thin. Patty was the friend you told dirty jokes to and the one who would respond with a laugh and an even dirtier joke before punching you in the arm and calling you ‘nasty’.

Holtzmann was a mix of everything, and Erin had no idea why, but it was like Holtzmann was from another planet.

She was strange, incredibly weird, downright insane, but Erin’s starting to realize that she can’t imagine life without Jillian Holtzmann anymore.

It’s dawning on her that what she’s feeling is love, and it may or not be romantic, but it’s there, and right now, Erin can’t think of anything better.

But there’s still the fact that Holtzmann’s drawing on herself every night, probably lost in thoughts that Erin is finding herself craving to know more and more.

“Coffee for your thoughts?” Erin jumps and shoves her sleeve down, covering her arm as Holtzmann walks into the kitchen and sits down beside her, a cup of coffee in her hands.

“Hey, thanks.” Erin takes a sip, notices the familiar flavor of vanilla and smiles.

“I remembered you ordering it the other week.” Holtzmann says, grinning. Erin chuckles and nods.

“You remember a lot.” Holtzmann shrugs.

“Genius IQ, despite the HFA and Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis-.”

“Wait, what?” Erin looks at Holtzmann in surprise and she shrugs again.

“Not a big deal.”

“How is that not a big deal? Wow, that makes a lot of sense now...” Erin trails off and Holtzmann raises an eyebrow.

“What, the lack of emotional recognition, eye contact, social interaction, the bluntness and general awkwardness?” She says, grinning. Erin can’t help but laugh as she shakes her head.

“No, well yes, but the uh, not letting go of tasks once you start them.” She teases. Holtzmann pops her lips.

“Ah...yes. Another symptom.”

“Do you take medication for it?” Erin asks. Holtzmann shakes her head.

“Nah, no need. Got it under control.”

“Yeah?” Erin notices Holtzmann’s expression turn stony as she swallows loudly and nods.

“Yup.” She pops the ‘p’, and Erin frowns. 

“Hey, you know you can talk to me about it, right?” Holtzmann’s eyes widen and Erin backtracks immediately, her heart dropping.

“Or-or not, that’s fine, too-.”

“We’re friends, right?” Holtzmann says abruptly. Erin frowns, confused.

“I’d like to think so, yeah?” She says, laughing nervously.

“I think we’ve reached a part in our friendship where we can talk about crappy stuff with no judgement.” She says it more like a statement, and Erin finds herself reaching out and brushing her fingers against Holtzmann’s hand.

“Of course.” She says softly. Holtzmann sucks in a breath and looks up from their intertwined hands briefly before sighing and nodding.

“Parents are...not great.” She says simply, and Erin can’t help the laughter that explodes from her. Holtzmann looks at her in shock and Erin catches her breath and shakes her head.

“No, no, I just...couldn’t agree more to be honest.” She says reassuringly. Holtzmann raises an eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you my sob story if you tell me yours.” She says, winking. Erin rolls her eyes, but sighs and fiddles with the lid of her coffee cup, biting her lip before she sighs. 

“Well, this whole ghost business started for me a long time ago, as you know.”

“Yeah, Abby’s told me the story.” Holtzmann says, grinning. Erin sighs.

“Yeah, the book and the me leaving and the...anyway, I uh...the whole reason I started believing in ghosts was cause I saw one. When I was a kid.”

“Whaaaaat?” Holtzmann drawls, her eyes widening as she sips on her coffee and Erin nods. 

“Yeah. The mean old lady next door who used to creep me out all the time suddenly died one day and well...after she died, I woke up one night and she was at the foot of my bed, just staring at me. She did that for almost a year. I told my parents, and they didn’t believe me, still don’t believe me...”

“Even after everything? New York, and the ghosts, and the vortex...” Holtzmann trails off as Erin nods.

“Yeah. They put me in therapy...thought I was crazy. The last time I spoke with my mom was about ten years ago.”

“Your dad?”

“About fifteen.” Erin reaffirms. Holtzmann whistles sympathetically and Erin shrugs.

“Abby was the only one who believed me. Abandoning her was the biggest mistake I ever made but I just...I couldn’t handle any more people telling me I was crazy. And that book just added to it all.” 

“Trust me, I know how you feel.” Holtzmann mutters, and Erin smiles softly. 

“Do you still believe I’m terrible?” She teases. Holtzmann chuckles.

“Nah. Never did. I told Abby there must’ve been a reasonable explanation. She never listened though. Looks like you two have sorted it all out though.”

“Yeah...” Holtzmann leans back on her seat and rubs her eyes before she shrugs.

“Mine did some pretty fucked up shit, too.” Erin is surprised at her language, but she sits straighter in her seat.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. They always knew something was off with me, I was pretty...well, yeah. Pretty bad as a kid. I’d tear things apart and wouldn’t sleep or eat until I put it back together. Loud noises, bright lights, it would trigger...trigger something inside me.” Holtzmann taps at her chest and swallows loudly, and Erin bites her lip, part of her wanting to hear more, but part of her not wanting Holtzmann to get upset. 

“They sent me to therapy, all kinds of therapy. The talking kind, and the aggressive kind.”

“Aggressive kind?” The word gets lost in Erin’s throat, fear gripping her as Holtzmann shrugs.

“Shock therapy, mostly.”

“Jesus Christ, Holtzmann...” Erin can feel tears building in her eyes and Holtzmann clears her throat as she forces a smile.

“Dad used to expose me to loud music and bright lights, too. He’d lock me in my room and make me stay in there for hours with music and lights-.”

“Holtz.” Erin’s grip on Holtzmann’s arm is vice-like now, and Holtzmann sucks in a breath and exhales in an attempt to calm herself before she grips Erin’s hand tightly.

“I guess it was a good thing in the long run. Now I can listen to loud music and use blowtorches and look at sparky things without freaking out.” She chuckles darkly, and Erin swallows the lump in her throat and squeezes Holtzmann’s forearm and suddenly, she comes to a realization. 

“The drawing...that’s how you cope with it.” She whispers. Holtzmann looks up at her, holding her gaze for almost five seconds before she drops her eyes.

“Yeah.” She says simply. Erin finds herself subconsciously rubbing her own forearm now, her eyes roaming over Holtzmann’s forearms covered in sharpie that she knows is identical to her own forearm. 

It’s on the tip of her damn tongue.

“Holtzmann, there’s something-.”

“Hey, guys! I got some pizza!” Abby comes crashing in, Patty right behind her and Holtzmann jumps before she moves her hands away from Erin’s and rubs them together.

“Great, I am starving and I’d like to eat before I get started on my next project!” She adds a wicked cackle, and Patty simply stares at her.

“You truly scare me, I hope you know that.” Holtzmann lifts the box from Abby’s hands and opens it, grabbing a slice and munching on it with a grin.

“Hey, you okay?” Erin feels Abby poke her in the ribs and she tears her gaze away from Holtzmann to look at her best friend with a defeated smile.

“Yeah. Never better.” 

********************************************************************

Erin rubs her eyes tiredly and looks up at the clock on the wall, a gasp escaping her lips when she sees it’s almost 11 at night. She stretches in her seat, the joints in her back popping loudly as the gas is released from them and she groans at the pain before a yawn escapes her.

Definitely time to get home.

Erin jumps up from her seat just as Abby rounds the corner, her bag over her shoulder.

“Hey, I’m heading out.”

“Same. Patty?”

“Left about an hour ago. Kevin was out of here by 6. Something about a chicken roller derby tournament.” Abby says with a roll of her eyes. Erin chuckles.

“And uh...”

“Holtzmann’s still here.” Abby says, raising an eyebrow knowingly, and Erin simply nods.

“Okay.” Abby chuckles and moves closer to her best friend, looking behind her to check that Holtzmann is distracted, which she is, bopping around with headphones over ears as she works on another one of her inventions. 

“Have you told her yet?” Erin sighs and shakes her head.

“Not yet. I was about earlier today, during lunch, but...well, pizza.” Erin finishes lamely, and Abby’s eyes widen.

“Ah crap. Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I think telling her would’ve overloaded her, anyway, we were talking about some pretty sensitive topics...did you know Holtz is Autistic?” Erin asks. Abby sighs.

“Yeah. She kinda had an attack on me once a few years back. Walked into our lab and she was throwing things and screaming, something about the lights. When I looked up, one of them was just blinking constantly, it must’ve gone out...it was kinda scary.” Erin bites her lip as Abby runs a hand through her hair.

“She told me, about her parents and everything.” Erin says. Abby sighs again.

“Pretty fucked up, huh?” 

“Yeah.”

“She’s much better now, though. When she first told me, I kinda had already figured it out. There was signs everywhere, but yeah...she’s much better now.” 

“It’s why she draws. Helps her cope.” Erin says, her hand once again subconsciously touching her forearm, and Abby smiles softly.

“You’re falling for her, aren’t you?” She asks gently. Erin looks at her with wide eyes.

“What? No, I just...I mean, I care about her. I definitely care about her. I don’t know if it’s in that way just yet, but...” Erin trails off, and Abby chuckles, leaning forward and resting a hand on Erin’s shoulder.

“Whatever it ends up being, Erin, I support you one hundred percent. You know that, right?” Erin smiles and leans in, wrapping her arms around Abby’s neck in a hug.

“You always have. Thank you so much, Abby.” Abby chuckles and rubs her back gently.

“Course, kid. We’ve been through thick and thin, nothing’s gonna tear us apart.” Erin can’t help but grin as Abby pulls back and winks at her.

“Love ya.”

“Love you, too. Get home safe.”

“You, too.” Abby walks off, yelling a goodbye to Holtzmann, who simply shrieks in response and grins, to which Abby shakes her head with a chuckle before heading down the stairs. Erin grabs her bag and lifts it onto her shoulder before turning the lights off in her office and making her way past Holtzmann.

“Holtz?” 

“Ya?” Holtzmann pulls her headphones down, looking up at Erin with a grin.

“It’s 11. You heading out soon?”

“Gotta finish this.” She says, pointing at the metal box on the table. Erin knows better now than to argue with her and she nods.

“Okay. Try and get home at a reasonable hour though, please.” 

“I’ll try. If not, I’ll just crash out here.” Holtzmann grins, and Erin laughs before she lifts a hand in goodbye.

“Night.”

“Goodnight, Erin.” 

Erin makes her way down the stairs and out of the firehouse door, keeping a few of the lights on so Holtzmann doesn’t fall and end up bruising both of them. She’s already suffered a few bumps and bruises since joining the team, mostly with the way she clumsily handles her tools, and Erin’s attempted to keep her bruises hidden so Holtzmann doesn’t get suspicious. 

She gets into her car and begins to make her way home when it happens.

Halfway there, her hands closed around the steering wheel tightly, she feels it.

A sharp pain at the back of her head that causes her to scream and smash her foot down on the breaks.

She hears the sound of a car honking behind her, but Erin is blinded with pain, her eyes welling with tears as she shakily pulls her handbrake up and gathers herself for a second.

Nothing happened for it to be her own pain.

_Holtzmann._

She pulls her handbrake down and madly swings the steering wheel around, her tires squealing as she slams onto the accelerator and speeds her way back to the firehouse, ignoring the beeping cars and angry yells behind her as she desperately wipes the tears from her eyes. 

The pain is still exploding throughout her skull when she screeches to a stop in front of the firehouse and shoves the handbrake back up, flings the door open and bolts out of it, not even bothering to close the door behind her as she fumbles with the keys of the firehouse.

“Please, please...” She sobs, her shaky hands finally shoving the key into the door. She throws it open, the scream escaping her before she can help it.

“HOLTZMANN!” She dashes past the receptionist area and the kitchen and goes straight for the stairs, bolting up them so fast, she trips and smacks her shin against the last few steps. She grits her teeth, ignoring the pain as she storms up and looks around wildly.

“HOLTZMANN!” She rushes toward the table and the sight before her has her heart dropping.

Holtzmann is on the ground, groaning, a small pool of blood matting her hair as her fingers twitch and Erin collapses down beside her, fingers reaching for her.

“Holtzmann, fuck! Holtz!” She shakes her gently, and Holtzmann groans again before her eyelids flutter open, her eyes crossed before she closes them again, a whimper escaping her.

“My head...” She croaks out.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m gonna call an ambulance, okay, just stay with me.”

“Erin?” Holtzmann looks up at her now, her name escaping Holtzmann’s lips in a breathy whisper as Erin fumbles with her phone.

“I’m here, keep talking to me, honey.” 

Holtzmann’s fingers close around her wrist and Erin raises the phone to her ear, tears escaping her as she grips Holtzmann’s hand.

“I’m here.”

**********************************************************************

“There’s no permanent damage, no bleeding in the brain, we’ve managed to stitch the cut. Looks like it’s just a small concussion, she’s gonna be okay.”

The doctor is smiling at her, but Erin can’t bring it in her to smile back.

“There...there was a lot of blood...”

“The cut was quite deep, but small. Like I said, we managed to stitch it up without a problem. She’s responding to us, and she’s fully coherent. She’s going to be okay, Dr. Gilbert. Just give her some Tylenol for the pain, and make sure to wake her up every few hours at least for tonight. If she exhibits any other kind of symptoms in the next twenty four hours, like blurred vision, or vomiting or the inability to walk, bring her back. Other than that, you can take her home.” 

“Okay, th-thank you.” The doctor gives her a shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he walks away and Erin takes a deep breath in before she walks into the room.

Holtzmann is sitting on the hospital bed, fiddling with her hospital gown and swinging her legs as she sighs in frustration. As soon as she sees Erin, her eyes brighten and she jumps off the bed.

“Erin-whoa.” She sways slightly, and Erin rushes forward, arms wrapping around her to steady her and Holtzmann chuckles.

“Concussion. Should not stand so quickly.” She says. Erin sighs and forces her to sit back down.

“How are you feeling?” Holtzmann shrugs.

“I’m okay. My head hurts, but I’m okay.” Erin knows her head is hurting because her own head is hurting like hell, but she’s glad she’s not feeling the full brunt of Holtzmann’s injury. She frowns, trying to remember if her mother ever mentioned how serious the connection was when it came to injuries. But Holtzmann has suffered a few bruises her and there, and Erin’s felt those, but she has no cut on the back of her head like Holtzmann does...

“Erin? You still with me?” Holtzmann teases. Erin looks down at her, staring intently at her bright blue eyes. Erin can feel tears forming in her eyes and she sniffs them away.

“The uh...the doctor said I can take you home-.”

“Hey, Erin, whoa...are you crying?” Erin shakes her head, but the tears spill anyway and Holtzmann suddenly embraces her, arms wrapping around her waist and her head resting on Erin’s chest as she coos softly.

“I’m okay, Erin. Promise.” Erin wraps her arms around Holtzmann tightly as she bites down on her bottom lip to stop her tears.

“You really fucking scared me, Holtzmann.” She whispers. Holtzmann chuckles, rubbing small circles into her back.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just took a bit of a tumble and hit my head, everything’s fine.” Erin sighs, her hold only growing tighter before Holtzmann suddenly stills beneath her.

“Hey, so, as much as I’m enjoying the position I’m in right now...” Holtzmann says against her chest, and Erin rolls her eyes and shoves her back lightly, which earns her a chuckle before it fades and turns into a frown.

“How did you know I was hurt?” She asks. Erin’s heart drops.

“What?”

“I heard you. I mean it was faint, in my daze of confusion and pain, but you were screaming my name from the first floor of the firehouse before you even came up the stairs and saw me...like you knew I was injured or something.” Erin exhales a shaky breath and bites her lip.

“I, uh...I...”

Holtzmann waits patiently before Erin suddenly squares her shoulders, prepared to tell her everything.

A few seconds pass before Erin’s shoulders slump in defeat.

She can’t do it.

“Just had a feeling, I guess.” Holtzmann frowns, and Erin knows she doesn’t believe her, but she nods after a few seconds before groaning and clutching her head.

“Ow, okay, no nodding.” Erin chuckles and wipes her tears away.

“Alright come on, let’s get you back to my place.”

“Your place? Geez, take me out on a date first, Gilbert.” 

“Shut up and let’s go.”

Erin’s the one to sign the discharge papers as nurses help Holtzmann change out of her hospital gown, with the doctors officially placing Holtzmann in her care and the ride to her place is surprisingly silent. Erin suspects it has something to do with the fact that Holtzmann is constantly nodding off, which causes Erin to have a mini panic attack every time, scared that Holtzmann is about to slip into unconsciousness, but Holtzmann assures her it’s just the morphine and the lack of sleep kicking in. She fidgets too though, her fingers twisting in her shirt as she continuously taps on the door and Erin looks at her with a frown.

“You okay?” She asks. Holtzmann shrugs.

“Didn’t get to finish my work.” She mutters. Erin can see her nails are digging into the door now, and she sighs and points at her bag.

“There’s a pen in there, I think.” Holtzmann looks at her in confusion and Erin smiles.

“Draw. It’ll keep your mind off it.” Holtzmann smiles softly and occupies the rest of her car ride home with drawing on ankle, which she’s strategically placed on the dashboard, and Erin can feel the pen marking her own ankle, can feel the glide of it and she bites her lip to stop herself from reaching down and touching it.

It’s so strange, feeling Holtzmann beside her, drawing on her own ankle, but feeling the way the pen moves against her own skin. It’s the strangest thing Erin’s ever experienced, but it’s causing something else to stir within her, and she grips the steering wheel with white knuckles when the feeling pulses in her stomach and travels...well, down.

When they finally arrive at Erin’s, Holtzmann is pretty much on the verge of collapsing, so Erin decides to skip the grand tour of the place and takes her straight to her bedroom, where she sits Holtzmann down on her bed. 

"Do you need help changing?" Holtzmann chuckles.

"I don't have any clothes here, Erin. This is comfortable though, it's fine." Erin looks at Holtzmann's attire, which consists of a tank top and dress pants and she frowns.

"You sure?" Holtzmann frowns, then suddenly undoes the button of her pants and slowly stands, pulling them down and collapsing on the bed again as she kicks them off so she's left in just her underwear.

"Yup!" She says, grinning up at Erin sleepily. Erin tries to keep her eyes from falling down, but she can feel the heat rushing to her cheeks and she clears her throat.

"I'll...Tylenol." Is all Erin managed to get out, and Holtzmann groans and lies down slowly in her side. Erin rushes to the kitchen to grab some painkillers and a glass of water. When she returns, Holtzmann is on the verge of passing out, so Erin taps her shoulder and forces her to drink the Tylenol. She groans as she does, but eventually collapses against the pillow with a sigh.

“Holtz, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to wake you up every few hours.”

“Ugh, really?” She whines. Erin chuckles.

“Yeah.” She looks at the clock on her bedside table. 1 in the morning. She reaches for her phone and sets an alarm for 3 in the morning. She quickly runs to the bathroom and changes into sweatpants and a shirt, and her eyes fall onto the drawing Holtzmann had done in the car on herself.

It's a small lotus flower, surrounded by vine leaves and what looks like a bicycle tyre. Erin runs her fingers over it, a chuckle escaping her. She has no idea what it means, but she doesn't care. She quickly brushes her teeth and is ready to head into the living to prepare the couch to sleep on when she hears Holtzmann speak softly.

“Hey, Erin?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you mind sleeping next to me?” Holtzmann mumbles. Erin’s breath catches in her throat, and she finds herself nodding.

“Yeah, course.” Holtzmann opens one eye and looks at her with a grin and Erin’s eyes widen.

“I mean, no I don’t mind, I’ll...I’ll sleep next to you.” Erin moves to the other side of the bed and lays down gently, and jumps a little in surprise when Holtzmann reaches out behind her and grabs Erin’s hand. She squeezes it before sighing sleepily.

“G’night, Erin.” She mumbles. Erin squeezes her hand back and can’t help but smile.

“Night, Holtz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna leave this on a cliffhanger, but then I was like no fuck that we've been through enough shit. And you know what, I might end up updating twice today, if I can get the next chapter done in time. Because we need good stuff in our lives right now. And I have read all your comments and have seen how happy this story makes you guys and nothing brings me greater joy than making you all happy in a time like this. God bless you all I adore you all and you're all amazing and I'm about to cry so yeah, bye.
> 
> Also the next chapter is gonna be sexy as hell cause I'm feeling it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY FOR SEX.

Erin wakes suddenly to the sound of a truck honking outside her window, and she feels a pounding in her head as she groans and buries her face into her pillow. 

The events of the night hit her and she suddenly opens her eyes and pushes herself up, looking beside her to see Holtzmann fast asleep, her breathing steady and her face slightly furrowed in a frown. Erin yawns and looks at the clock beside her.

The last time she woke Holtzmann up was 5. It’s now 7.

Erin is about to move to wake Holtzmann up before she realizes her arms aren’t covered and the darkness is no longer keeping the ink on her arms covered. She slowly gets off the bed and grabs her bathrobe from the bathroom, puts it on and heads back out.

“Holtz?” She leans down and gently shakes her, and Holtzmann groans and opens one eye.

“Again?”

“We should probably get up for real now, it’s 7.”

“Too early.”

“Holtzmann.”

“Alriiiiiiiiiight.” She throws the covers off herself and Erin chuckles.

“How are you feeling?” She asks. Holtzmann sighs.

“Like I got run over by a truck. But I don’t feel so dizzy anymore.”

“Good.” Erin goes to get changed when she feels Holtzmann’s fingers wrap around her wrist.

“Hey, Erin?”

She turns and Holtzmann smiles up at her lazily.

“Thank you. For looking after me.” Erin smiles softly and slides her hand into Holtzmann’s, squeezing her fingers gently.

“Any time.” 

******************************************************************************

It takes a few days for Holtzmann to fully recover, much to her frustration, but to Erin’s satisfaction. 

Holtzmann steers clear of the lab at Erin’s request, which they’d argued about for a solid hour before Holtzmann had finally admitted defeat.

“Are you sure I can’t-.”

“Holtzmann, you need to rest! You can’t handle dangerous equipment when you’re recovering from a concussion!” Erin had hissed.

“Just once-.”

“Jillian.” The sound of her first name had made Holtzmann wince, and she finally had nodded with a sigh and agreed to Erin’s wishes.

So now, for the last three days, she hasn’t been prone to injury, so neither has Erin, which she’s thankful for. She’s still recovering from the shock of the head injury, and the shock of finding Holtzmann on the ground with a pool of blood at her head. It’s hard for her to shake the image from her head, and she finds herself checking on Holtzmann constantly in fear, spending a majority of her time lounging on the couch with her as she watches TV and eats Pringles. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy these moments, though. Holtzmann doesn’t say anything about it, simply scoots over on the couch with a smile as Erin sits beside her, so she guesses Holtzmann doesn’t mind it so much.

Add in the fact that Holtzmann has been staying with her for the last three days since her injury, and Erin has been spending practically every waking moment with her.

“Erin-.”

“Don’t start, Holtz. I’m not letting you go back home until you’re 100% better.” 

Holtzmann had simply grinned and nodded, and Erin had returned the smile.

But Holtzmann not being in the lab is frustrating her, and Erin can tell, because now Holtzmann draws more than ever before, to the point where the only part of her that isn’t covered in ink is her face, neck and back, which she can’t reach.

It also means that Erin is covered in ink, so she’s now taken to covering herself up in a jacket or long sleeved shirts and pants every day since Holtzmann’s injury. If Holtzmann notices Erin’s change in attire, she doesn’t say anything about it. 

Finally, after Erin forces her to go to the doctors for a final check-up (“I don’t go to the doctors, Erin.” “You do now.” “But-.” “Do you want to get back in the lab or not?” “Alriiiiiiiiiight.”), she’s given the all clear and she practically tears up the stairs to the lab as soon as they get to the firehouse. The rest of the day is spent with the sound of loud music filtering from the second floor and the sound of banging as Holtzmann makes herself at home once more. She refuses to take a break, even when Erin argues with her, and she finally makes her way down the stairs at around 8 at night, a gigantic grin on her face, which is also covered in grease.

“God, that was satisfying.” She breathes, sitting down at the kitchen table with a sigh. Patty and Abby make their way over to them and Patty grins at Holtzmann.

“You done? Cause, uh, we definitely going out tonight.” She says.

“What, why?” Erin says, looking at her in shock, and Patty throws her a look before answering, which Erin sighs, but accepts. Abby and Patty were pretty pissed at her for not calling them and telling them about Holtzmann’s injury, which she understood, but she’d been so worried about Holtzmann that it hadn’t crossed her mind to call her teammates and tell them one of them was down. 

“Holtzy’s feeling better, it’s a Friday...why not?” Patty says. Abby slaps her hand down on the table with a grin.

“I’m down!” She crows. Erin bites her lip when Holtzmann suddenly cackles.

“Hell yeah!” 

“Holtz, should you-.”

“Don’t finish that sentence. Just say yes.”

Erin hesitates.

“Erin.”

“I-.”

“Errrrrrrinnnnnnn.”

“Ugh, fine.” 

*******************************************************************************

The bar they arrive at is packed with people, and Erin is already regretting agreeing to come along. She has her eyes on Holtzmann, wondering if the loud music and chatter will trigger anything, but Holtzmann is perfectly laid back, a grin on her face as her and Patty cackle and head straight for the bar to order drinks. Abby chuckles at the sight of them and Erin can’t help but sigh. Abby rubs her shoulders.

“Come on. You know you wanna let loose.” She says. Erin shakes her head. 

“Abby, I can’t.”

“Why not?” Erin hesitates and Abby grips her hand and leads her to the bar.

“Have some fun, Erin, come on. Holtzmann is gonna be fine.”

“She’s still recovering from a concussion.”

“You said the doctor said she was fully recovered.”

“But-.”

“No buts. Just shots!” Abby says, taking a tequila shot from in front of Patty and holding it out in front of Erin.

Erin sighs, but eventually admits defeat and takes the tequila shot Abby offers her.

She does need to let loose, it’s been way too long...

“What the hell, why not?”

She’ll learn why not about five shots of tequila later.

An hour after they’ve arrived at the bar, the music only seems to get louder and more people seem to be filling in, and Erin is definitely buzzed at this point, downs her fourth shot of tequila and feels her whole body sway as Abby cackles beside her.

“Look at you, you’re swaying!” She hiccups, downing a shot of vodka, which she chokes on. Erin starts crying with laughter at the sight of Abby spilling vodka out of her mouth as she coughs for no apparent reason other than the sight is hilarious. She turns, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes as Patty and Holtzmann down what Erin is pretty sure is their sixth shot of tequila.

“Pattycakes, I can handle my liquor. You sure you wanna do this?” Holtzmann slurs.

“You’re on, white bread. And don’t call me that!” Holtzmann orders another round with a grin and Erin slaps her hand on the table.

“Count me in!” She yells. 

“How many have you had?” Patty asks. Erin looks down at the glasses in front of her.

“Three? No, four.” She holds up four fingers, and Patty starts cackling.

“Girl, that’s five fingers, you’re wasted.” She says. Holtzmann slides a shot that’s just been poured over to Erin, who grins and takes it.

“Ready?” Erin asks. Holtzmann winks.

“Born ready.” They both down their shot at the same time, and Holtzmann sucks her teeth in and turns her face in disgust, and Erin ignores the bile that rises in her throat as she grins.

“Easy lemons.” She slurs. Holtzmann laughs loudly as Patty follows suite behind them.

“Goddamn!” She hisses as she slams her shot glass down on the table.

“There you go.” Holtzmann says, patting her back gently. 

“Are they gonna play some good music?” Abby says loudly, gesturing around the bar, and Erin grins before leaning in to Abby as Patty and Holtzmann order another shot.

“I...I should tell Holtzmann about the soulmate thing, shouldn’t I?” She whispers loudly. Abby blinks at her for a few times before her hand raises and she slaps Erin on the forehead.

“I’ve been telling you to for two months now!” She shouts. Erin shoves her hand away and nods.

“I’m gonna tell her! I will! Should...should I be sober though?” She says, wincing, and Abby laughs.

“I mean, probably, she’s drunk, too, so she probably won’t remember.” Erin groans and rests her head against the bar, the world spinning slightly when she hears a gasp beside her and fingers wrap around her bicep.

“This I can dance to!” Erin’s head snaps up as Holtzmann suddenly yanks her forward, gripping her hand and dragging her to the dancefloor.

“Wait, Holtz!” Erin can feel the world spinning slightly, but Holtzmann ignores her and suddenly turns to face Erin as the music only grows louder. There’s bodies all around them, people dancing, and as soon as the beat kicks in, Holtzmann begins moving her hips and swaying around Erin, lip syncing to the song and as Erin listens to the words, her heart begins pounding in her ears.

_I’m talkin’ to ya  
See you standing over there with your body  
Feeling like I wanna rock with your body  
And we don’t gotta think ‘bout nothin’_

Holtzmann’s hands grip Erin’s waist now, and Erin sways slightly and throws a look at Abby, who grins widely at her and suddenly whoops loudly.

“Get it Holtzy!” She shouts. Erin feels herself blushing, but a giggle escapes her as Holtzmann moves in front of her again and winks at her.

_I’m comin’ at ya  
‘Cause I know you got a bad reputation  
Doesn’t matter, ‘cause you give me temptation  
And we don’t gotta think ‘bout nothin’_

Other people are joining the dancefloor now, causing Erin and Holtzmann to get closer, and Erin feels her breath hitch.

_These friends keep talkin’ way too much  
Say I should give you up  
Can’t hear them, no, cause I_

Holtzmann suddenly leans in closer now, her lips at Erin’s ear and her hands gripping Erin’s waist as she suddenly begins singing into her ear.

_I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walkin’ side to side  
I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walkin’ side to side_

Erin’s hands find Holtzmann’s and she intertwines their fingers, a new bravery invigorating her as she takes the reigns and suddenly pushes herself closer to Holtzmann, hips swaying as she brings Holtzmann’s hands back to rest on them.

_Been tryna hide it  
Baby, what’s it gonna hurt if they don’t know?  
Makin’ everybody think that we solo  
Just as long as you know you got me_

“Didn’t know you had this in you.” Holtzmann whispers into her ear, and Erin bites her lip and looks at her through her eyelids, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart and the lust that’s taking her over. 

_And girl I got ya  
‘Cause tonight I’m making deals with the devil  
And I know it’s gonna get me in trouble  
Just as long as you know you got me_

She hears Holtzmann’s breath hitch and Erin has no idea what makes her do it, but she leans in and presses her forehead against Holtzmann’s, their lips inches apart as Holtzmann grins.

“I thought you were straight.” Holtzmann says, chuckling, and Erin grins and shakes her head against Holtzmann’s forehead.

“Who is these days?” She murmurs. Holtzmann closes her eyes and lets out a shaky breath as she nods against her.

“Touché.” She whispers. 

_These friends keep talkin’ way too much  
Say I should give you up  
Can’t hear them, no, cause I_

Erin can only smell the scent of Holtzmann, grease and lavender and tequila as her hands move up Holtzmann’s arms and she rests her arms around Holtzmann’s shoulders, and Holtzmann pulls her even closer by her hips.

_I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walkin’ side to side  
I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walkin’ side to side_

“You do know what this song is about, right?” Holtzmann says, leaning in to her ear, and her breathy whisper causes Erin to shiver as she nods.

“Getting some really good sex, I suppose.” Erin croaks out, her heart hammering now as Holtzmann chuckles against her ear.

“Would you like some?” She breathes. Erin bites back a groan, and every part of her is yearning to say yes, especially the part of her that hasn’t had sex in almost a year, but even in her drunken state, Erin knows this is a bad idea.

_All these bitches, flows is my mini-me  
Body smokin’, so they call me young Nicki chimney  
Rappers in they feelings, ‘cause they feelin’ me  
Uh, I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me  
Kissing me, copped the blue box that say Tiffany  
Curry with the shot, just tell ‘em to call me Stephanie  
Gun pop, and I make my gum pop  
I’m the queen of rap, young Ariana run pop_

“Holtz...” 

“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, Gilbert.” Holtzmann teases, and she feels Holtzmann’s lips press against her jaw and Erin bites her lip and finds herself tilting her head to the side, giving Holtzmann more access as the world spins around her.

“Holtz...” She breathes out. 

“Mmm?” Holtzmann murmurs against her skin, her fingers moving underneath Erin’s shirt as she grips at her, nails digging into her skin and Erin can’t help the groan that escapes her.

“Something...I have to tell you.” She manages to get out.

“I’m all ears.”

_These friends keep talkin’ way too much  
Say I should give it up  
Can’t hear them, no, cause I_

Erin hesitates.

Just one night...one night without her knowing...

“I...” Erin pulls back and so does Holtzmann, and Erin finds herself staring into her eyes intensely as she exhales.

“Are you sure you want this?” She whispers. Holtzmann grins.

“Pretty damn sure, Gilbert. I think I’ve been sure for a while now.” 

“There’s something you need to know though. Something important. Really important.” 

Holtzmann leans in, lips inches away from contact.

“What is it?” 

_I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walking side to side  
I’ve been there all night  
I’ve been there all day  
And girl, got me walking side to side_

She’s drunk.

Holtzmann’s her soulmate.

She hasn’t had sex in a year.

She deserves to know.

They balance in her head for half a second before Holtzmann suddenly decides Erin’s taking too long and closes the distance between them.

Her lips capture Erin’s gently, and Erin can feel her knees shaking and her whole body vibrating with some kind of energy she can’t even explain as her heart beats loudly in her ears, but her fingers tangle in Holtzmann’s hair before they move down to grip her jaw gently as she deepens the kiss, and Holtzmann groans as Erin’s tongue meets hers, her kiss becoming urgent and Erin doesn’t know how, but she knows Holtzmann feels the same energy she does. Holtzmann returns the favor, tugging on Erin’s bottom lip with her teeth as her hands move further up Erin’s shirt, fingers gliding over smooth skin and Erin knows it’s useless. She pulls away, and they stare at each other breathlessly for a moment before Erin leans in, her lips at Holtzmann’s ear.

“My place. Now.” She hisses.

Holtzmann grins and grips her hand, heading straight for the door.

“Where you two going?” Patty shouts, and Erin simply throws a hand up in goodbye. Patty looks at Abby with wide eyes.

“What just happened?” She exclaims, and Abby laughs, wiping tears from her eyes as she sighs.

“Ah, Patty...I’ve got so much to tell you.” 

*************************************************************************

The cab ride feels like it takes a million years, both of them itching to just touch each other, but Erin knows if they do, they won’t be able to stop themselves from doing it right here in this cab, so she keeps herself against the door. As soon as the cab driver pulls up in front of her apartment, she throws him a $50, yells at him to keep the change as she throws the door open and runs up the stairs, Holtzmann running behind her as she shoves the key into the door and throws it open. She runs up the flight of stairs and shoves the key into the door of her apartment and she barely gets it open before Holtzmann’s hands are at her waist and spinning her around. She kisses Erin roughly, pushing her through the door as Erin drags her inside at the same time. Holtzmann kicks her leg out to shut the door and it thuds loudly as Erin grips the collar of Holtzmann’s shirt and pulls away from her.

“Bedroom.” She says breathlessly. Holtzmann’s hands curve around her waist and move down to hook around her upper thighs.

“Right here.” She pushes Erin up against the wall, and Erin groans at the pain that explodes up her back before Holtzmann suddenly closes her teeth around Erin’s pulse point, sucking gently, and Erin’s hands tangle in Holtzmann’s hair, tugging on it slightly. Holtzmann’s fingers make quick work of the button on Erin’s jeans, and she pulls the zipper down, tugging on them roughly and Erin quickly shoves them down and kicks them off before moving her hands to help Holtzmann remove her jacket, still not removing her lips from Holtzmann’s as she slowly begins pushing her toward the bedroom. 

It’ll be slightly darker in there.

Maybe Holtzmann won’t see the markings-

“Erin?” Holtzmann suddenly stops, and Erin pulls away from her breathlessly and looks at Holtzmann, who’s staring at her feet.

“What?” She croaks out.

“Your ankle.” Erin freezes as Holtzmann suddenly bends down, her fingers grazing over the drawing on Erin’s ankle and Erin feels tears prick her eyes.

“I...my ankle...I drew that on my ankle.” Holtzmann says, touching her own ankle and the drawing there before looking up at Erin with wide eyes.

“Holtz-.”

“When you said we were soulmates...”

“It’s complicated-.” Holtzmann suddenly stands, her eyes roaming Erin’s face.

“Erin, you’re a mutant?” 

“I’m-what?” Holtzmann chuckles, and Erin is so shocked she can’t move.

“Not like an X-Men, superheroes with powers ‘mutant’, but this mutation, I’ve heard of it. It’s so rare...” She suddenly licks her lips and looks down at her own forearms before leaning in, her fingers tugging on Erin’s shirt.

“May I?” She asks gently. Erin nods, and Holtzmann lifts her shirt up and over her head, and her eyes only widen as they roam over the drawings on Erin’s stomach and her forearms, and she reaches out, touching Erin’s stomach and Erin feels goosebumps erupt all over her skin as she shudders.

“So it’s true. They do exist. And you’re one of them. And I’m...I’m your soulmate.” Holtzmann breathes. Erin bites her lip, but the tears fall anyway.

“I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t think you’d believe me-.”

“Shh...” Holtzmann’s eyes suddenly roam over Erin’s body now, and she looks up at Erin with a grin. 

“Called it.”

“Wha-.” Holtzmann kisses her before she can fully get the word out, her hands gripping Erin’s waist and pulling her in, and Erin groans and grabs Holtzmann’s shirt, almost ripping it in her haste to rid her of it as she pulls it over her head and throws it to the ground. They move toward Erin’s room as Erin tugs on Holtzmann’s pants, which she unbuttons and goes to pull down before Erin grips her wrists and shakes her head.

“Let me.” She whispers huskily. She pushes Holtzmann down onto the bed, and Holtzmann lifts her hips up as Erin tugs on her pants, pulling them off and abandoning them as she moves up the bed and straddles Holtzmann’s hips. She leans down and kisses her way from Holtzmann’s mouth to her neck, sucking gently and Holtzmann lets out a whine.

“Do...do you think you’ll f-feel it?” She gasps out. 

“Feel what?” Erin whispers against her skin, and Holtzmann bites her lip.

“Feel what you’re doing to me.” Erin sits up and looks at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Holtzmann reaches out and grabs Erin’s hand, and suddenly places it over her breast, and Erin feels her mouth go dry.

“Can you feel that?”

“Your boob? Yes.” Holtzmann rolls her eyes.

“They say that people with this mutation, whatever it is, can feel everything their soulmate feels. So...can you feel it?” Erin catches on, and suddenly bites her lip as she squeezes her hand covering Holtzmann’s breast, eliciting a groan from the engineer beneath her, but Erin feels nothing herself.

“Nope. Can’t feel anything.” Holtzmann pouts, about to say something, but Erin puts a finger to her lips.

“Enough talking. We can do that after. Now shut up...” She leans back down and gently bites down on Holtzmann’s earlobe, and she whimpers.

“And let me fuck you.”

“Jesus...” Erin trails kisses down Holtzmann’s neck, sucking gently in some areas and leaving bruises as her fingers dig into Holtzmann’s skin, and she feels Holtzmann’s hips buck underneath her as she licks down Holtzmann’s stomach, then trails her tongue along her hipbones.

“Erin...” Holtzmann whines. Erin grins against her skin and slowly reaches up with her fingers, pulling Holtzmann’s underwear down and she kicks them off beneath Erin, who makes her way back up and brings her hand up to palm Holtzmann’s center, causing the blonde to groan and move her hips up to get more friction.

“You know...” Erin mumbles against Holtzmann’s stomach, her fingers trailing along Holtzmann’s inner thigh.

“Mmm?” Holtzmann whines, and Erin grins. 

“You’re awfully blasé about this whole soulmate thing.” Her fingers find Holtzmann’s clit, and she moans.

“I...don’t see a downside...to having you as my soulmate.” She breathes out, and the last word comes out in a whimper as Erin pushes two fingers into her. 

“So you’re not upset?” Erin pauses with her fingers inside Holtzmann, who groans and looks up at her.

“Erin?”

“Yeah?”

“Later.” She hisses. Erin grins and pulls her fingers out halfway before pushing them in again and Holtzmann groans, her head falling back against the bed as Erin’s lips find her neck once more. 

“Fuck, faster, please!” Erin complies, her fingers working faster as Holtzmann grinds her hips upward as she moans.

“Erin, fuck!” She lets out a drawn out moan that has Erin’s clit throbbing as she comes, her muscles tensing around Erin’s fingers and Erin rides it out with her as she relaxes, her breathing erratic as Erin pulls her fingers out. Holtzmann lays still for a few seconds and Erin is about to tease her when Holtzmann is suddenly pushing her down onto the bed and attacking her lips. She kisses her with renewed vigor, and Erin watches as Holtzmann licks from her collarbone, past her bra and down to her panty line before she looks up at Erin with a mischievous grin as she hooks a single finger around Erin’s panties and pulls them down with ease.

“Had a lot of experience, have you?” Erin asks. Holtzmann’s response is to press her tongue against Erin’s clit and she groans, falling back against the bed as Holtzmann’s tongue begins working magic Erin’s never felt before.

“Fuck, oh my god.” Erin grips the sheets beneath her body as Holtzmann pushes her back down onto the bed and suddenly pushes two fingers inside her. Erin groans and bites down on her lip.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, please-.” Holtzmann grins against her as she finds her rhythm and it doesn’t take long before Erin feels her whole body tense and her legs close around Holtzmann’s head as she screams, her orgasm coursing through her as Holtzmann continues fucking her until she settles, one final gasp escaping her as Holtzmann licks the length of her, causing Erin to shudder. 

Holtzmann relinquishes her hold on Erin’s thighs and moves up, pressing a gentle kiss to Erin, and Erin can taste herself on Holtzmann’s lips as she bites down on her lower lip. 

“By the way...” Holtzmann says against her lips.

“Mmm?” 

“Definitely not upset.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SEX.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's having sex again? These kids. Cause sex is great.

“Erin?” 

She groans and shoves her face into her pillow, her head pounding and the taste of tequila stagnant in the back of her throat and Erin is suddenly starting to wish for death as her body aches with every movement.

“Ugh...”

“Erin?” Something cold touches the skin on her back and Erin’s eyes snap open before she pulls her face out of her pillow with a groan and looks up.

Holtzmann is staring down at her with a small smile, her hair down in curls that fall past her shoulders as she leans in and presses a kiss to Erin’s cheek. Erin feels her heart start beating sporadically as she slowly turns on her back and looks up at the ceiling, the events of the night becoming clear.

“We had sex.”

“We did.”

“You know we’re soulmates.”

“I do.” 

She pauses.

“Erin?” Tears fall before she can stop them and Holtzmann brushes them away gently.

“I’m not upset.” She says softly.

“How are you so okay with all of this?” Erin croaks out, and Holtzmann smiles and brushes Erin’s hair back from her forehead gently.

“It’s you. I mean, granted, we’ve only known each other for two months but hell, having you for a soulmate is definitely not a bad thing.” Erin bites back a smile, which causes Holtzmann to laugh and she lies down gently before moving closer to Erin, who turns to face her as her hand comes to rest on Erin’s waist. She leans in and presses her forehead against Erin’s. 

“The question here is: why are you so upset?” Holtzmann whispers. Erin swallows the lump in her throat and shakes her head.

“Not upset.” She manages to get out.

“No?”

“No. I just...I’m scared. I don’t know what this thing is, if it’s even real, and I’d watch these markings appear on my body and I’d wonder for so long...”

“How long has it been happening for?”

“About two weeks before I met you.” Holtzmann’s eyes widen and she brings her hand up to brush her fingers against Erin’s jaw.

“It’s like your soul knew I was coming or something.” Erin nods.

“I think so. My mum said she started getting bruises on her body for no reason about a month before she met my father.”

“So your mum has the mutation?”

“Yeah. But she’s never told me anything about it because-.”

“You don’t talk.” Holtzmann finishes. Erin nods before groaning.

“God, she’s gonna lose her mind when she finds out my soulmate is a woman.” Holtzmann chuckles and presses a kiss to Erin’s forehead.

“She doesn’t have to know for now. Frankly, I’d like to get to know more about you, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.”

“Would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?” Erin’s heart stops.

“Like on a date?”

“Mhmm.” She grins before she can stop herself, and when her tears fall, Holtzmann catches them with her thumb.

“Yeah. I would.” 

********************************************************

Before Erin even walks through the doors of the firehouse, Abby is running up to her and grabbing her wrist.

“Ow, Abby!” She ignores her and drags Erin into the bathroom before shutting the door behind them and looking at her with wide eyes filled with excitement.

“So?”

“So?”

“What happened?” Abby says, grinning. Erin winces, biting back a grin as she shrugs.

“She knows.”

“She knows? More detail, please!”

“She saw the drawings and she put two and two together.” Erin can feel her face turning red as she remembers the feeling of Holtzmann kissing down her stomach, her fingers grazing over the markings on her skin and Abby shoves her lightly.

“Erin! Tell me everything, come on!”

“I can’t.” Abby’s grin fades.

“What? Why not?” 

“I-well...”

“Erin, I’m your best friend. I gotta know the details!”

“Well, we got back to my place, and we were...”

“What?” Erin stares at Abby’s oblivious face as she eggs Erin on and Erin groans and suddenly speaks in a rush.

“We were making out and she took my pants off and saw the marking on my ankle and my arms and she knows about the mutation I have so she put two and two together and figured it out and then we had sex, like mind-blowing amazing sex and-.”

“Less detail! Less detail!” Abby covers her ears and shakes her head and Erin bites her lip.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I just...it went so well? I mean, nothing ever works out, I’m waiting for the other damn shoe to drop here, Abby! And it’s freaking me out! She asked me out on a date, and I said yes, and we’re going to dinner tonight, and what if something happens-.”

“Erin, stop!” Abby grips her shoulders and Erin feels how tense they are in her hands.

“Calm down. Holtzmann wouldn’t have asked you out if she didn’t feel the same way.” 

“But how is she not freaked out about all of this? What if she’s hiding that she’s freaked out-.”

“Erin, this is Holtzmann we’re talking about. She doesn’t get freaked out by anything. And we hunt ghosts for a living! You’ve gotta stop doubting yourself, okay? She cares about you and you care about her, so why not see where this goes?” Erin sighs and nods.

“You’re right. Of course.” Abby grins, and Erin rubs her eyes tiredly before nodding again.

“Alright. I’m gonna just grit my teeth and do it. No more running away. Besides, it’s dinner. What could go wrong?”

*********************************************************

Everything goes wrong.

The night starts out perfect enough. Holtzmann meets her on the first floor in a white and black dress with her hair down, looking absolutely amazing and Erin finds herself staring for a good four minutes before Abby clears her throat and she realizes that Holtzmann has been doing the same, staring at her in just as much awe.

“You look amazing.” Erin breathed.

“I could say the same thing, Gilbert.” 

They had gotten to the restaurant by 7.

And were out by 7:15.

Erin groans as Holtzmann chuckles and places the ice pack over her hand gently, closing her refrigerator door gently.

“You didn’t have to punch him.”

“What he said was rude.” Erin says crossly. 

They’d walked in, with Holtzmann telling the concierge her name and that she had reservations. They’d barely sat down when a waiter had approached them with a smile and two glasses of wine.

“Complements of the restaurant. Now what can I get you two fine ladies?”

Erin and Holtzmann had ordered, and has the waiter had written down their orders, he’d grinned at them mischievously.

“A ladies night away from the husbands, huh?” He had teased. Erin had cleared her throat uncomfortably when Holtzmann had chuckled.

“Uh, no. We’re actually on a date.” Erin couldn’t help the slight smirk at the sight of the waiter’s grin fading as he nodded.

“Oh, right.”

“Is that a problem?” Erin asked through gritted teeth.

“Uh, no, no of course not-.” The waiter had practically bolted at that point, and the next time they were approached, it was by the manager.

“I’m sorry, ladies, but one of my waiters has said that you two were being particularly rude about your orders-.”

“Wait, what? He’s the rude one, we told him we were on a date and he high-tailed it out of here like the gigantic homophobe he is!” Erin growled. 

“Erin-.”

“No, look, I’m not gonna stand for this, it’s 2016 for god’s sake! Now we may have just elected the biggest, most gigantic, most moronic man-child that looks like an overgrown, angry Cheeto as President of the United States, but I’d like to think that progress was being made before that!” 

“We don’t want gays in our restaurant!” The manager shouted.

And then Erin punched him.

She stood from her seat, pulled her fist back, and hit him square in the nose.

And now she was home, with Holtzmann still laughing about the whole thing as she rests the ice pack on Erin’s knuckles. 

“I think my favorite part was when he was on the ground, clutching a clearly broken nose and you shouted at him ‘I’m not gay, I’m bisexual!’” She says, grinning. Erin sighs.

“I lost my temper, I shouldn’t have hit him. You’re right.” 

“I think it was awesome.” Erin looks at her in surprise, takes in her gigantic grin and smirks.

“Really?”

“Yeah! You stuck it to the man, it was brilliant!”

“Thanks.” Erin grins as Holtzmann leans in with a chuckle and kisses her cheek. There’s a knock at the door and Holtzmann’s grin grows wider.

“Food’s here!”

Holtzmann rushes to the door to grab the Chinese Food she ordered as Erin grabs two plates and lays them on the table.

“I think I like this better.” Holtzmann says, carrying two bags of food.

“What do you mean?”

“Eating here, at home. It’s small, intimate, we can actually hear each other. It’s nice.” Erin smiles as she sits down and Holtzmann pulls Erin’s plate toward her.

“Tell me when to stop.” She begins pouring Erin’s food for her before pouring for herself, and they sit in silence for a few seconds before Erin looks at her. 

“So, what do you want to know about me?” Holtzmann grins before shoving a forkful of food in her mouth.

“What’s your favorite color?” She muffles out. Erin laughs.

“Uh, I’m not sure. Brown, maybe. I also like Indigo. Red’s quite nice, too. What’s yours?” Holtzmann shrugs.

“Changes every day. It can be Green one day, the next it could be that weird color that sparked when I held my blowtorch up to a piece of metal. Unpredictable.” Erin laughs.

“Favorite food?”

“Anything. I know yours.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Pringles.”

“You try saying no to those salty parabolas.” 

It continues on like this for at least forty-five minutes before Erin leans back against her seat and yawns. 

“That was good. Better than any restaurant could’ve given us.”

“Probably.” Holtzmann picks up their plates and Erin stands, shaking her head.

“Nuh uh. My house.” She takes the plates off Holtzmann and walks them toward the dishwasher. As she bends down to put them in, Holtzmann’s fingers lightly trail up her back, and Erin shivers as she fiddles with the zipper at the top.

“Do you mind?” Holtzmann breathes against her ear behind her. Erin bites down her lip and shakes her head.

“No.” Holtzmann’s fingers move down, cold against her skin as she unzips Erin’s dress before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to her shoulder. 

“Can I ask a favor?” Holtzmann asks against her skin. Erin simply nods.

“I’ve never had someone else as a canvas. And I’ve always wanted to draw on a back.” Erin raises an eyebrow before turning to face her.

“You want to draw on my back?” Holtzmann bites her lip.

“Is that weird?” She asks. Erin chuckles.

“No. Come with me.” Erin leads her into the living room, reaching down into the small drawer of the coffee table as she pulls out a marker. She turns her back on Holtzmann and holds the marker up to her. 

“Go for it.” Holtzmann sucks in a breath and traces her fingers over Erin’s skin.

“Your bra is in the way.” She mumbles. Erin reaches behind her with shaking fingers and unhooks it, and Holtzmann pushes the straps out of the way before she leans in and presses a kiss to Erin’s back.

Then the cold tip of the marker hits her skin and Holtzmann sets to work. 

Erin has no idea what she’s drawing, but she keeps asking questions as she does, and eventually she stops and presses a kiss to the back of Erin’s head, which reminds Erin of her injury.

“How’s your head, by the way?” She asks.

“Better. Oh hey!” Holtzmann stops drawing and Erin turns to face her as she grins.

“That’s how you knew I was hurt. You felt it.” Erin chuckles.

“Yup.”

Holtzmann pauses, and Erin cranes her neck to look behind her to see Holtzmann frowning.

“Was it painful?” Holtzmann asks.

“A little.” Erin says. Holtzmann leans down and presses a kiss to her back.

Erin tries her best to ignore the shivers that it sends up her spine. She’s never felt like this before. Granted, Erin hasn’t had a lot of sex in her life. She can count her sexual partners on one hand, but it’s never bothered her, and she’s never found herself craving sex.

Until now.

She can feel a fire beginning to brew inside her stomach at Holtzmann’s small touches, and Erin bites her lip and clenches her thighs in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure building there.

“Erin, I have to confess something.” Holtzmann says suddenly.

“Okay.”

“I don’t know if it’s a soulmate thing, but all I can think about it having sex with you. Like all the time.” Erin’s eyes widen and she turns to look at Holtzmann again.

“Me too!” Holtzmann’s eyes widen. 

“Seriously?”

“I was just thinking that.” Holtzmann stares at her for half a second before she leans in, lips brushing gently against Erin, who pulls back.

“I usually don’t sleep with someone on the first date.” Erin jokes, swallowing down a whimper. Holtzmann grins.

“I think we’re way past that, Dr. Gilbert.” Holtzmann whispers, and Erin sucks in a breath, her eyes falling down to Holtzmann’s lips.

“Chaka Khan.” Holtzmann says, and Erin stares at her in confusion before Holtzmann grabs her and kisses her fiercely.

Holtzmann’s the one pushing them back into the bedroom this time, and Erin’s hands are popping off the buttons on the back of her dress, which Holtzmann slides out of easily, leaving her in just her undergarments, and Erin looks down to see she’s wearing all red lingerie, and-

“Fuck.” The word escapes her when she sees Holtzmann is wearing garters, and Holtzmann grins before helping Erin out of her dress and pushing her down on the bed. 

“Can I ask you something?” Holtzmann breathes, kissing her before moving across her jawline. Erin simply nods as Holtzmann suddenly lifts herself up and hovers above her, eyes moving from Erin’s lips to her eyes as she bites down on her own lip.

“Can I ask you to do me the favor of telling me if there’s anything you don’t want to do?” Erin finds it such an odd request, but she nods.

“Of course.”

“The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.” Erin smiles, but it fades and turns into a groan when Holtzmann bites down and sucks on the skin at her clavicle. She moves to the small of Erin’s back, fingers fiddling with her already open bra and Erin bites down on her lip.

“Holtz?”

“Yeah?” Holtzmann stops and looks up at her and Erin chuckles nervously.

“This is gonna sound so stupid.”

“What is it?”

“Can we...my bra, can...”

“Can you leave your bra on?” Holtzmann asks, raising an eyebrow. Erin sighs.

“Yeah.”

“Of course you can, but can I ask why?” Erin licks her lips.

“I don’t know, I’ve kind of always been self-conscious about them.”

“Your boobs?” Erin rolls her eyes.

“It’s a long story involving a mum who is a bitch and treated her very clearly hormonal and pubescent daughter horribly.”

“A story for another time, then. But just so you know-.” Holtzmann kisses her way down Erin’s neck as she hooks Erin’s bra back on gently before running her tongue just over the skin above her breasts and Erin’s back arches off the bed in anticipation.

“I love them. I haven’t seen them yet, but I love them.” 

“Thanks.” Erin says shakily, and Holtzmann grins before making her way down to Erin’s ribs, tongue gliding over her skin before she bites down gently. 

“Jesus...”

“He’s not here. Call back later.” Holtzmann mumbles, and Erin chuckles before she props herself up on her elbows and watches as Holtzmann gently kisses her stomach, fingers gripping at Erin’s underwear as she tugs on them gently. She looks up, raising an eyebrow and Erin nods. She pulls them off slowly, following the underwear with her lips as she trails kisses down Erin’s thighs before throwing the garment behind her and Erin can’t help the sudden tugging feeling in her stomach at the sight.

Holtzmann takes such care in what she does, it’s beautiful and yet so arousing to watch. She kisses the inside of Erin’s thighs before opening them wider and hooking her arms around Erin’s thighs. 

“I know we were drunk last night, but this time is gonna be different.” Holtzmann says, looking up at Erin, who can feel her legs shaking in anticipation.

“How so?”

“I’m not gonna stop at one orgasm.” And with that, she presses her tongue against Erin’s entrance and Erin falls back against the bed, her whole body shivering as Holtzmann works on her, tongue moving in rhythm and in different waves of fast and gentle before her tongue moves to Erin’s clit and she slides two fingers in, hitting right against Erin’s g-spot, and Erin gasps, hands reaching out and gripping Holtzmann’s hair before she can stop herself.

“Oh god, right there, don’t stop!” Holtzmann grins against her before she suddenly removes her tongue from Erin’s clit with a pop and moves her way back up, moving her fingers against Erin faster until Erin throws her arms around Holtzmann’s shoulders and lets out a moan, her legs clenching around Holtzmann’s fingers as she climaxes and Holtzmann kisses Erin’s neck gently before removing her fingers as Erin relaxes back onto the bed. She breathes heavily, her mind racing and her body still coming down as Holtzmann leans in and kisses her. 

“Honestly, you taste so good, I hope you know that.” Erin wrinkles her nose and Holtzmann laughs.

“No dirty talk?”

“No, I like dirty talk...sometimes.” Holtzmann chuckles, and Erin leans up to kiss her when she suddenly pushes Erin back down onto the bed.

“I said I wasn’t stopping at one orgasm.” 

Erin shivers as Holtzmann grins and suddenly pulls Erin onto her lap.

“If you don’t like what I’m about to do, tell me.”

“Wha-.” She’s cut off when Holtzmann flips her onto her stomach and pulls her hips up, and Erin gasps when she feels two fingers slide into her from behind.

“Fuck. Me.” Erin growls, and Holtzmann pulls her fingers out and slides them back in.

“I am.” She breathes, and Erin pushes her hips back into Holtzmann’s fingers, who rests her other hand on Erin’s lower back and guides her before leaning down and pressing sloppy kisses all over her skin, over the drawings she just did to Erin’s back.

“Holtz, fuck! F-faster, please-.” Erin can feel herself beginning to climax as Holtzmann suddenly snakes her other hand around Erin’s hips and pushes her against her fingers faster, and as soon as her fingers find Erin’s g-spot, Erin finds herself screaming as she comes, Holtzmann’s fingers sliding out gently as Erin practically collapses against the bed, completely spent as she tries to just focus on even breathing properly. Holtzmann flops down beside her and looks at her with a grin.

“Round three?” Erin groans.

“I need...a break.” She breathes out. Holtzmann pouts, but nods.

“Okay.” Erin grins. 

“Doesn’t mean we can’t work on you.” Holtzmann’s eyes widen with shock before they sparkle with glee and she grins.

“Erin Gilbert, you are definitely my soulmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to write but here, have some smut!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER GUYS! Really wanted to finish this off, cause I have no more ideas for it and I'm currently writing a really horrible and dark fic so I figured, let's give this one a happy ending!

Erin Gilbert didn’t think things could ever become so perfect for her.

It wasn’t possible for her to even dream of such a thing occurring.

From being teased relentlessly as a child, ‘Ghost Girl’, her parents doubting her, nothing has ever gone right...

But now it is.

Everything is right. So right.

So perfect.

Holtzmann slides over to her on rollerblades with a grin, presses a kiss to her cheek and rolls back over to her bench, whistling and mumbling the words to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”, and Erin can’t help the grin that breaks over her, the way her muscles in her face ache because she can’t stop FUCKING smiling all the time.

Everything is perfect.

“Holtz?”

“Yeah babe?” She grins.

“I love you.” Holtzmann stops, hands freezing on her tools as she looks up at Erin with a smile before suddenly pulling out a marker and pulling the sleeve of her shirt up. Erin can feel the marker scratching on her skin and she chuckles as Holtzmann looks up at her and throws her a wink. Erin looks down at her arm, blinks back tears and smiles softly.

_I love you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoyed this, thank you for all your support! love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> y'all...here's some fluff, i'm trash for these two, kay bye.


End file.
